Recently, a friend of mine told me he was pretty much burned out. His schedule at work, his family life, plus his demands with the church were draining him of all the energy he had. You could see it in his face and his demeanor – he was clearly fighting exhaustion and his own emotions every day. Ultimately, he came to the logical conclusion that he needed to take a break from work and church so he could focus on his family.
While it’s pretty normal to take a vacation from work, he seemed to feel a little “guilty” about taking a break from serving at the church. After all, isn’t “walking away” from our call to serve others “sinning”? Is this turning our back on God? Aren’t we supposed to experience joy when we serve others?
I think this is dangerous thinking on a number of levels, and exactly how Satan can turn a good thing like serving into something that undoes us.
A few years ago, I ended up in charge of a department and poured my entire heart and soul into helping people around me. The people who worked for me had virtually unlimited access to me. Folks in other departments could ask whatever they wanted of me and I would try and help them. I was constantly monitoring our support queue to make sure that support issues were getting resolved accurately in a timely manner. In short, I focused my whole life in making sure other people got they help they sought as quickly as possible no matter what.
Unfortunately, this “selflessness” became a curse that tore my life to pieces.
You see, in the process of trying to serve others I did a terrible job managing the needs of my family and friends. I ended up physically and emotionally drained because the more effort I poured into serving others, the more miserable and exhausted I became. I thought that serving others was the right thing to do and it’d bring me joy. When it didn’t, I just “served harder” to see if that would do the trick. When that didn’t work, I kept serving others because I thought I’d be betraying God’s will by not doing so.
You can probably see what a vicious cycle this is, though. Sooner or later you’re either going to hate helping other people of you’re going to become completely burned out. This is the antithesis of the life God wants for us. Luckily, he has provided us with a better plan – His Kingdom breaking in and bringing Heaven in where the burden gets too heavy for us. But, what is this supposed to look like?
Imagine for a second that you need to carry a 200 pound load up a mountain. There are several ways you could go about this – put it all on your back, make several trips, try and hire someone, etc. Unfortunately, though, the problem is that the whole load is on you. This task is going to take a lot out of you no matter how you ultimately decide to solve the problem.
Now, imagine you have a friend who offers to carry half of the load for you. All of a sudden, this task looks a lot easier. You’ll be half as drained as you were before, and moreover, you know that you have a friend who’s willing to help you. That’s a good feeling. Your friend feels good because he can keep you from carrying an extremely heavy burden by yourself, perhaps freeing up hours or your time for something else.
What if, however, you could find five people to help you carry the load? All of a sudden, the task becomes pretty easy. The burden on you is 20% of the size it once was. The burden on everyone else is negligible, yet the sum of what the five of you can do “easily” is a task that would be difficult for just one person to carry alone. Perhaps even the five of you have a great conversation together getting the work done.
It seems to me that what I’ve described here is what serving in the Kingdom of God should look like. In this scenario, those with the heaviest burdens have their load significantly lightened, and through the lightening of the load, everyone is enriched in the process. This models enables service with a joyful heart all the time – no one gets burned out, but a lot gets accomplished without any one person exerting significant effort! There is a continual outpouring of love, encouragement, and support throughout the process. It’s much harder to get too run down in a scenario like this.
I have been fortunate to work with 4-5 “Kingdom of God” people over the past year or so, and I have noticed a significant reduction in my stress levels and a greater appreciation for the people around me. I’ve had rough days, but there are people around me ready to help all the time. And, I stand ready to help when someone else needs help. It’s a great system – there is constant give and take, and that’s the key…there has to be balance between how much you’re giving and how much you’re taking. Too much “give” burns you out, too much “take” builds resentment.
No one wants to get tired out by doing the right thing and helping, and God doesn’t want this either. That’s why he gives us people to “do life with”. That’s why we have a model for a better way. Give it a try next time you’re feeling burned out – the results will encourage you beyond your wildest dreams!